Harmful Judging

The US Thesaurus gives many synonyms for the word judgment. (Noun)

• Ruling
• Decision
• Finding
• Verdict
• Sentence
• Result

(Opinion Noun)

• View
• Considered opinion
• Feeling
• Thoughts
• Way of thinking
• Reasoning
• Belief

(Shrewdness-Noun)

• Wisdom
• Common sense
• Discrimination
• Prudence
• Intelligence

The definition from Encarta Dictionary (North America) 

1. God’s Judgment on an individual, in Roman catholic belief, God’s decision at the instant of some-body’s death on whether the soul is to be saved or damned.
2. Legal Verdict.
3. Good sense, the ability to form sound opinion and make sensible decisions or reliable guesses.
4. An opinion formed after some consideration.
5. A snap judgment.
6. Judging in a contest.
7. In logic, the mental act of making a positive or negative proposition about someone or something.

First, to judge is not always a bad thing. We make judgments, decisions, and conclusions about situations or people several times a day. This is a safety strategy or a defense mechanism humans use to protect their bodies and ego’s. One can size up, assess, or judge a situation or person by using logic, common sense, experience, and wisdom.  

Now let us go to pathological judgment. This is a learned behavior which can be reversed at any time.  

Pathological judgment stems from hate. A good demonstration of this is the Ku Klux Klan’s beliefs and activities. Klan members believe or support white supremacy, Anti-Semitism, Anti-Catholicism, racism, anti-communism, and they are homophobic. This group of people often uses violence and terrorism to get their point across to the people they HATE. 

I believe I am making a sound judgment about the Klan’s hatred for certain people and groups. I am making this judgment by considering the past and present behavior by the KKK. So, I have come to the conclusion, by considering the facts, nothing good can come from this group because of their belief that hatred is okay. This is my judgment and OPINION because I  do not agree with their belief.

Basically, most people judge because they do not agree with the belief and value systems of another. Once our belief and value system is formed we think our way is right. This is normal or usual thinking, but allowing others to be different and listening with an open mind, flows so much better. That’s  how we learn about one another.  

Let us take the same concepts to work, school, college, or any place where one has to work along side of people. You don’t have to be a Klan member to have hate in your heart. These people are very easy to weed out. People with hate in their heart are usually very insecure.They believe they are better than anyone around them. They are in every-one’s business. They can be very passive-aggressive. They promote and participate in gossip. They lie. They will form an alliance. These people, with hate in their heart, will form an opinion/judgment without consideration of the facts. This is where life on the job/school/college/etc. gets tricky. Once the hateful gossip starts and others BELIEVE the content, then the person being talked about is vulnerable for future attacks of hatred. People with hate in their heart can make your life a living nightmare, but only if you let them. 

The way to counter-act the hate is to live in a balanced state. Live honestly. Surround yourself with loving people. Have compassion for your fellow human. Gather facts before you place judgment on others. I am sure most people are aware of the old adage “walk a mile in a person’s shoes before you place judgment upon them.” 

We will judge people if they are too fat, too thin, too white, too black, too Arab, too Mexican, too European, too Asian, too dumb, too smart, too nervous, to lazy, too religious, too political, too anything or not enough of something! Judging people is a way to keep us separate. The truth is that we are all the same biologically and with similar hopes, dreams, and aspirations according to our culture. To judge is hateful and has no benefit for anyone, even the person who is judging. Why do we commence in such behavior? To make ourselves feel better? Ask yourself the next time you get ready to judge someone; is this really necessary? What behavior could I demonstrate instead of judging this person? How can I change my thinking? One of the most powerful coping strategies in dealing with hateful people is to be a healthy example. People with hate in their heart have no idea what to do with healthy behavior. They will surely judge you for being too healthy!  

To sum up, the act of judging is not bad if you use this technique to protect yourself and others. Judging becomes pathological when someone makes a decision about you or a situation by NOT gathering all of the facts and the energy behind the judgment is hate. Be aware of people with hate in their heart as their words and behavior are poisonous and counter-productive to living honestly and in balance.

People with hate in their heart make their own hell. Remember, this way of thinking is learned, therefore, can be changed at any time.  So, it is fair to say, people who judge with hate in their heart, choose to do so.

 Love yourself and your community. Always know there are several sides to every story and if you don’t have all the information resist placing a judgment on another human being. 

Tags: Don't Judge