Feb
16
I want to offer my sincere condolences to you, your family, and to your community.
The pain must be intolerable. I am so sorry for the violence in America.
In this case, the shooter was a grad student. The assassin was still in the age group for a severe psychiatric diagnosis. I don’t know if the killer was schizophrenic or had bipolar disorder or had a psychotic depression. No one knows except possibly his family.
From the news casts, what I understand is this murderer stopped taking his medication. That’s all I needed to hear. This is another person with psychiatric problems who stopped taking his medication. That combination in this case was obviously lethal.
The executioner had a responsibility to care for his psychiatric diagnosis, just as a heart patient would be responsible to care for his or her heart, or just as a diabetic is responsible to care for his or her blood sugar problems. My point is if a person is diagnosed with any disorder, it then becomes the patient’s responsibly to work closely with the doctor to remain stable!
I want to share some information about coping with death.
People cope with the loss in many ways. There is no right or wrong way of coping with death. There is no time limit in dealing with a loss. Grief is a natural process for the living when death occurs. The process of grief is a necessary response to heal from a sense of loss when a person dies.
The way a person grieves depends on numerous variables, some which include, culture, religious beliefs, secular beliefs, coping skills, mental health history, developmental stage, environment, what was taught and when, previous exposure to death, and how long and severe the disease process was or if the death was sudden.
Allow and accept your feelings. Allow your tears to fall. Allow your sadness and sorrow to surround you. Allow your screams; sound off a guttural cry to cleanse your soul. Allow your pensiveness. Allow your depression, despair, and pain. Allow your anger. Allow yourself to be. Allow what ever feeling or behavior comes your way as long as it does not hurt anybody else.
Dr. Kubler-Ross defines 5 stages of grief.
1. Denial. Once a person becomes aware of bad news about a loved one’s death, the first words out of his or her mouth are “I can’t believe it” or “This can’t be happening.” This is a very effective defense mechanism to protect the psyche. Bad news takes a bit of time to absorb.
2. Anger. In this case, the living is left holding the bag so to speak. This was a heinous crime; this may illicit feelings of anger. Some people get angry with God for taking away their loved one. Anger in this arena is normal and natural.
3. Bargaining. The bargain is usually with God. “If I had more time……”
4. Depression. “I can’t go on.” “I can’t stand this pain.”
5. Acceptance. Just like a butterfly emerging from its’ cocoon, one is able to incorporate all the good and bad, and is able to carry on with a new sense of calm.
These stages do not necessarily happen in order. Denial is usually first and then one can move in and out of the stages until acceptance is finally reached. These stages are not timed. One has the rest of their life to negotiate acceptance of the death.
Know you have support from all across this nation. Ask for help if you need it. Nurture yourself. Nurture others around you. Keep supportive people close by.
Again, I am so sorry for the pain, violence, and irresponsible people.
Tags: Psychotic killings
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