I have been considering the words of a song that was introduced to me way, way, back in the 1970’s. The music was created by Johnny Mandel and the lyrics were created by Mike Altman. The tune was played each time the TV show M*A*S*H would begin. I would like to share the lyrics with you now.
‘Suicide is Painless’
Through early morning fog I see…visions of the things to be…The pains that are withheld for me…I realize and I can see….
(REFRAIN]:That suicide is painless…It brings on many changes…and I can take or leave it if I please…
I try to find a way to make…all our little joys relate…without that ever-present hate…but now I know that it’s too late, and…
[REFRAIN]That suicide is painless…It brings on many changes…and I can take or leave it if I please…
The game of life is hard to play…I’m gonna lose it anyway…The losing card I’ll someday lay…so this is all I have to say…
[REFRAIN]That suicide is painless…It brings on many changes…and I can take or leave it if I please…
The only way to win is cheat…and lay it down before I’m beat…and to another give my seat…for that’s the only painless feat…
[REFRAIN]That suicide is painless…It brings on many changes…and I can take or leave it if I please…
The sword of time will pierce our skins…It doesn’t hurt when it begins…But as it works its way on in…The pain grows stronger…watch it grin, but…
[REFRAIN]That suicide is painless…It brings on many changes…and I can take or leave it if I please…
A brave man once requested me…to answer questions that are key…is it to be or not to be…and I replied ‘oh why ask me?’
[REFRAIN]‘Cause suicide is painless…it brings on many changes…and I can take or leave it if I please……and you can do the same thing if you please…
The words to this song are haunting. I bet most people can relate to some of the issues the song writer was addressing. The meaning of the words in this tune is multi-layered and resonant. To me, the essence of the words in this song is, with life, there is death. The passage of time will eventually bring our demise. None of us humans know for sure the answer to the big question “To be or not to be?” And finally, that the act of suicide is a choice. With choice comes freedom and consequence.
Typically, during some point in our lives we will examine our own mortality. This is a normal developmental event.
Considering the choice of suicide usually indicates a problem. Be it medical, financial, social, emotional, spiritual, or even criminal there are endless excuses for the act of suicide.
My best advice is to fix the problem. If the problem can not be fixed change your circumstance and wait for your death to occur naturally. My motivation for this comment or concept does not stem from man made laws or even religious dogma. My motivation comes from life and professional experiences.
LIFE CAN CHANGE ON A DIME AND YOU HAVE TO BE HERE TO EXPERIENCE it!!!
I have cared for so many people who have attempted suicide during my career. Some attempts were very serious and some were gestures to obtain attention from others. The serious attempts were heart breaking. The person usually thought he/she had no options or choices in life, but to commit suicide. While the act of suicide is a choice, most people who have survived a suicide attempt are thankful they did not die.
People who have been diagnosed with a mental illness have to be extremely attentive while caring for the symptoms of their illness. A high percentage of people in this category are successful at their suicide attempts. These deaths are preventable and that is what makes this issue so very sad.
If you have been in the pits of hell with a major depression or other illnesses you may have thought to welcome death. You want the emotional pain to go away. Who wouldn’t? Humans tend to shy away from pain whether it is physical or psychological. I spoke with a doctor a few years back and he told me he would rather have surgery than be in a depressed state because you know the pain of surgery will go away; you don’t know when the pain of depression will go away. I think this doctor had insight.
People in a depressed state or contending with other illnesses often say “I feel hopeless, helpless, and worthless.” Some people who experience command hallucinations often say “The voices are telling me to kill myself because I am no good.” People who receive a terminal diagnosis often say “I don’t want to be a burden to my family; I don’t want to be here.”
I understand the reasons why people want to end their lives. It is as if you are boxed in without options. The pain feels insurmountable. Future orientation is lost. A minute feels like a day, a day feels like a month, and so on. Nothing catches your attention except for the thoughts of death. This is a miserable existence for sure.
Instead of ruminating on ways to check out; ask yourself “What can I do to change my situation?” Mobilize. Take responsibility for your life. Place one foot in front of the other, commence in forward motion, and fill your heart with gratitude. And of course, ask for help. This remedy sounds corny but it works.
I would like to share some clinical information with you now.
White men commit suicide more than black men. The same goes for the women.
Men use more lethal or violent ways to end their life. They tend to use a gun, they hang themselves, they jump off high places, and they use suffocation or carbon monoxide. By contrast women use less violent ways to kill themselves such as an overdose of medication or cutting their wrists.
Planning, intent, having the means to carry out the plan, and future orientation are fundamental in determining whether a person is serious about taking their life by their own hand.
For example, let’s say a woman has cancer, is in chronic physical pain, and has a depressed mood. She begins to give away her treasured earthy objects. She ruminates on the fact death would take her pain away for good. She thinks of a plan. “I will take an overdose today because no one will check on me for two days. I have plenty of pills that will surely cause my death.” She intends to carry the plan out on a day there will be no provision of rescue. She writes a note to her loved ones. She takes all of her pills and dies.
This woman was completely lethal. The time to intervene would have been when she started giving away her treasured earthy objects. This woman gave no other outwardly message of what she was planning. Also, she had a plan (to overdose on pills), she had the means (the pills), and the intent to carry out her plan (“I will take the pills today because no one will check on me for two days.”)
Lethality in regards to suicide equals: plan, means, the availability of the means, and intent to carry out the plan.
Guidelines to help suicidal people:
1) Ask the person if he/she is suicidal. Never beat around the bush with this question. Straight forward, clear communication is best here. If someone had asked the woman in the above example she may have lived.
2) If the answer is yes, ask “How do you plan to go about it?”
3) Ask or evaluate if the person has access to a gun/rope/bridge/car/poisons/etc.
4) Watch for future orientation. A person can not be authentically suicidal and future oriented at the same time.
5) Ask the person who is in pain if they want help.
6) If he/she does not want help and they have a lethal plan, and he/she INTENDS to carry out their threat of suicide call the police or sheriff. The police will transport the suicidal person to a treatment facility for safety. The police or sheriff can place the suicidal person on a writ of habeas corpus, which means he/she will be transported against their will.
7) If medication is started for depression; watch that person very carefully. The anti-depressant medication can give the suicidal person the energy to carry out their plan. This concept goes twice for teenagers because they are impulsive, they have limited life experience, and their bodies may adapt or may not adapt to the medicine.
Eight) Always take all suicidal threats seriously. Period.
9) Help the suicidal person until they can take over. You will not be wasting your time.
Risk factors to being predisposed to suicide:
A) Age. Teens and seniors are at high risk for ending their life
B) History of chronic mental illness
C) History of chronic physical illness
D) History of chronic physical pain
E) Body disfigurement and dysfunction
F) Family history of people who have committed suicide
G) Single parent homes
H) Personality disorders such as anti-social, borderline, and dependent personality, and so on
I) Previous suicide attempts
J) Eating disorders
K) Sexual abuse
L) Physical abuse
M) Limited coping skills for various reasons
N) Sex. Women try to commit suicide more times than their male counterparts using less lethal means. Men are more efficient; they usually get the job done the first time around
O) Postpartum period in child bearing years
P) History of gambling
Q) Alcohol and drug abuse
R) Chronic financial problems and how this correlates with societal unemployment rate
S) Loss of a close loved one or loss of anything loved
T) Newly incarcerated individual
U) Humiliation
V) Impulsive or violent traits
W) Climate extremes, light/dark cycle
X) Isolation
Y) The list can go on and on……….
Allow nature to take its’ course. This may not be the easy way out, but as a wise woman once told me “Julie no one ever promised life was going to be easy.” Accept what is and carry on.
SUICIDE HOTLINE: 1-800-273-8255
TTY SUICIDE HOTLINE: 1800-799-4889
Tags: easy suicide, live, Painles suicide
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.